Let's Be Real.

Today, was a total bust...

and the best day we have had all week.

I woke up with a headache. 

After taking some ibuprofen and an allergy pill, I watched an episode of Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist.

I got up off my duff.

I made my kids breakfast...cereal actually...so I guess I cheated and dumped my kids breakfast in a bowl. I didn't actually "make" anything...but my coffee.

I went back to my bed.

I watched another episode. Pretty sure Zoey and I have the same superpower, only mine has gotten less embarrassing with age. Okay, maybe the only soundtrack I hear is my own, but basically...its the same.

My children played SO NICELY ALL MORNING. 

(insert angels singing Handel's Hallelujah Chorus here)

And I totally binged and drank coffee and my kids had screens here and there until lunch...late lunch.

After lunch, I did ONE (not 17) load of laundry.

Painted my toenails on the deck while my kids ran around yelling like banshees in the back yard...in their jammies.

I marcoed a couple friends...in my jammies.

I did not cook dinner. 

I did not attempt "school at home" other than a couple...nope...one fun little video.

But we had a good day. 

This day was VERY out of the norm for me. On a typical day, I feel like to earn my place at home with my kids, I have to work my tail off from sun up to sun down. My house has to look nice, my kids have to be learning, I have to have my shiz together. And today, I did not. The weight of this pandemic is heavy and I have tried to carry on as if I didn't notice. As if it isn't affecting me other than being homesick for my parents or missing those big hugs from my friends. This unknown is hard to carry. It pushes back against the shield of protection I try to tuck my kids behind. I have "social distanced" my kids for nearly 30 days. It makes my heart sad. 

This feeling of stuck...sucks. 

Today, well, I guess I took the time to wallow in it. Like a bump on a log in front of the tube half the day. And quite frankly, I feel pretty good about it.

Let's be real. 

I want to be an excellent momma during this time. I also want to be a wonderful teacher. I want my kids to start next school year ahead of the game. But sometimes, they just need to see you veg out and regain your mental strength to carry on.

Stay Safe and Carry on!